Shuichi
by Eric HetaGrav Johnson
Summary: Shuichi Shindou and Eiri Yuki are both going through something strange after Yuki's attempted suicide. Will they ever find out the source of their problems?
1. Scared

My name is Shuichi Shindou. My friends call me Shu-chan or Shu-kun, and occasionally Mr. Shindou. I'm 19 years old and am fronting a J-Pop band called Bad Luck. My idol is none other than Ryuichi Sakuma of Nittle Grasper and am terribly and undeniably in love with the famous novelist with a bad attitude, Eiri Yuki. He rarely tells me he loves me but when he does; he's always holding onto me tightly, like he's afraid he'll lose me. I like those hugs. That's when he's nice to me. But also when he's close to breaking...I hate it when he breaks. When he cries, I feel helpless...all I can do is sit there and hold him; let him use my shoulder to cry on. Lately, he's been crying a lot...and he leaves the house a lot. He never says why. He just does...

"Yuuuukiiiii~!" I called as I entered our home after a long day of recording. "Yukiiiii~?" I started in the house; pushing the door closed behind me. I looked around at the untouched living room and kitchen; then towards the stairs. "Yuki?" I asked more worriedly; starting up the stairs. I couldn't hear anything. I peeked down the hall and noticed no lights were on. "Yuki..?" I called again; fear ripping through my body. I started down the hall and opened every door; no sign of disturbance or Yuki. I opened our bedroom door and found a locked drawer broken into. I peered inside and pain ripped through my chest. Yuki's secret gun was gone. I began to panic. "Yuki! Yuki, Yuki; where are you?!" I screamed; leaving the room and looking in the rest. I found his study and gulped; the last room to be searched. I slowly pushed it open and saw a stain in the carpet. My heart leapt to my throat as I followed the stain towards his desk. "Yuki-" and then I screamed.

I must've fallen back and hit my head because I don't remember going to the hospital. I sat up in the hospital bed and gripped the sheets; the last image in my head fresh. Yuki with a gun in hand and blood coming from his mouth. I started sobbing and curled up; the sheets held to my face. I sobbed and cried until I couldn't cry anymore so I kept sobbing. I buried my face and just made pitiful, heart wrenching noises until my voice grew hoarse.

"Shuichi..." came my best friend's voice. I looked up at him, at Hiroshi Nanako, the guitar player for Bad Luck and I broke down all over again. He came over to my side and held me; rubbing my back and holding me. "Oh Hiro...it was h-horrible..." "Shh...take a deep breath...what happened?" Hiro asked. So I listened and told him what I saw; breaking down yet again. He went silent and held me closer.

"Mr. Shindou? May we talk to you?" asked a doctor, a nurse close behind him. I nodded slowly and he smiled softly. "Please tell me, what was your relation with the man you came in with?" "M-man...?" "Yes...the one with the gun." 'Yuki...' "H-he's my lover..." I whispered as fresh tears started. The doctor nodded. "I see. Well; you should be happy to know that he is in stable condition. We found no evidence of physical harm on his body. The blood we did find was due to stress. He will recover just fine." the doctor replied with a smile. I let out a happy noise and clung to Hiro. "Yuki..." I breathed. "Now, we need to discuss your health. I'm afraid you are not so lucky...you have sustained quite a bit of damage to your brain when you fell." he said. I frowned. "I fell?" "Yes. And you hit your head pretty hard. We were afraid we were going to lose you during the surgery." "S-surgery?" I gasped. "Yes. You need rest, Mr. Shindou." I looked to Hiro and he nodded. "Rest up. I'll talk to you later, alright? "A-alright..."

I laid back as everyone left the room and thought of Yuki. I thought of our first date, the one in Disneyland and smiled. I could still feel his arm around me. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

I can't exactly remember what I dreamt of but I do remember that it was horrifying. Blood everywhere and Yuki saying "Fuck you." I sat up, wide awake in a dark room and shivered. I felt really cold and sick; stepping out of bed. I looked at the IV in my arm and grabbed it; whimpering and pulling it out. I pulled out everything that was attached to me and ran across the room; panicking and crying. I wanted Yuki to come and save me. I needed Yuki here with me...


	2. Alone

Light flooded my room and I whimpered; the light being turned on. I cowered where I was and Hiro ran to me. "Shuichi! Shuichi, what happened?" he cried. I sobbed and shook. "I want Yuki...Yuki, come save..." I whimpered. Hiro held me close and helped me stand. He began leading me to my bed and I started freaking; pushing him off of me. "No! No, I want Yuki!" I screamed and Hiro stopped walking; holding me closer and I sobbed. Hiro sighed softly. "How about this...lie back down and I'll bring Yuki here...?" Hiro whispered in a calm voice. I whimpered and started nodding. He rubbed my back and helped me to bed; leaving the room. I brought my knees to my chest and whimpered in fear.

"Shuichi?" Hiro asked after ten minutes. I looked up as him and Yuki entered the room. Yuki limped into the room; using a cane and looking worried. I threw myself out of bed and at him; nearly trampling him. I sobbed and Yuki held me tightly. I heard him grumble then he kissed my head as he held me closer. "Shuichi...Shuichi, what's wrong...?" he whispered. "Don't leave me..." I whimpered. "Please..." Yuki sighed softly and dropped his cane; both arms holding me tightly. "I promise you...I won't leave you..." he whispered more softly, so Hiro couldn't hear him. I sobbed and smiled as I buried my head in his chest. "Y-your head!" Yuki gasped. I shuddered and clung tightly. I could feel Yuki's fingers trace the bandage on my head and kiss it. I hissed in pain and looked up at him. Then I heard the poet inside him speak for the first time.

"Shuichi, whatever happened to you, if someone did this or I did, know that I will not let you suffer...I will make sure you recover completely and are back onstage with your band...I will be behind you 100%; I will help you and take care of you...seeing you in pain puts me in pain and it hurts me so bad to see you like this..." His eyes started watering as he spoke. "I promise you that I won't let you suffer any longer...I won't let you hurt anymore and I will make sure you are never alone...I will stay by your side..." "Yu-Yuki...?" I breathed. My head was spinning and I whimpered again. He held me tightly and let out his sobs. I started sobbing as well and almost blacked out. Yuki held me and looked at me with pained eyes. "Go ahead and rest...I'll be right here..." I smiled. "Yuki...I-I love..." I started as I passed out.

_I was running mad in a dark forest; the sound of crashing footsteps behind me getting closer. I found a hole in the hill close to me and hid inside as the shadow passed over me. I shuddered and crawled out; looking around slowly. I was all alone. I let out a sigh of relief then broke down. Yuki wasn't there. I was alone...I stood up and looked around once more and my ankle was grabbed. "YUKIIIIIIII!" I screamed as I slowly began to be pulled into the dirt. I grabbed the nearest tree and sobbed angrily. "Yuki, you bastard, come save me...!"_

"Shuichi!" Yuki shouted; shaking me awake. I snapped my eyes open; panting heavily in fear and my chest aching from my racing heart. I stared at him in complete fear before breaking down into painful sobs. His eyes went from afraid to worry as he pulled me close. He must have fallen asleep beside me when I fainted...I gripped his shirt and whimpered softly. "Yuki..." "Shh...I'm right here, Shuichi..." he whispered. "W-why...why did you have a gun...?" I asked through the sobs. He sighed softly. "I was...I was in pain...I hurt you...I keep hurting you...and I felt horrible for it...so I...wanted to end it..." "Y-you tried to leave me...?" I whimpered. His breathing hitched and he began muttering 'I'm sorry' over and over again. I sobbed harder and gripped tighter. "Yuki, I love you...I will always love you...I just want you...no one else...just you..."

He put his hand on my head and cradled me in his arms. "I love you too, Shuichi..." he whispered and he started crying. "God, I love you so much...I'm so sorry...for everything..." I sobbed and kissed him; Yuki kissing back more hungrily and lovingly than ever. I sniffed and looked up at him. "I don't care what happens...I just want us to be happy..." I said quietly. He smiled faintly and kissed me; holding me closer. "Shuichi...how does your head feel...?" he asked softly. "I-it hurts..." I admitted. "B-but that's okay..." "Shuichi..." "Because Yuki loves me. And he's not leaving me. So I'm happy." I said with a smile. Yuki chuckled and shook his head. "You damn brat..."


End file.
